Twin Peaks is one of those shows that I’ve been meaning to watch for years but have never gotten around to. I’m a huge Lost fan, and the internet has always told me that this means I’ll be a big Twin Peaks fan as well (although a big part of why I was obsessed with Lost was because of the beautiful specimen that was Sawyer, and I’m not sure if Twin Peaks has any Sawyers to speak of). I’m also a big fan of Riverdale, which has been compared to Twin Peaks as well, and of Psych, which had a whole Twin Peaks themed episode. So basically, it’s long overdue for me to watch this show. Here we go into episode one!

My impressions:

00:02:33 – What a long and incredibly 80s introductory sequence.

00:04:47 – This receptionist girl has the craziest voice I’ve ever heard.

00:06:42 – This balding police officer with a mullet is crying a lot over a dead body they haven’t even identified yet.

00:07:40 – It’s someone named Laura Palmer.

00:08:28 – Her mom is getting so mad at her for not coming downstairs but we know the truth, she’s dead.

00:09:25 – Laura’s mom has a big ol’ perm.

00:14:25 – This is sad for the parents finding out she’s dead. Much more believable grief than after Jason Blossom was found on Riverdale.

00:15:18 – Hey, that one actress is literally from Riverdale! It’s Betty’s mom.

00:16:04 – This Bobby character seems shady with his floppy hair and his confidence with women.

00:20:44 – Bobby is an extremely annoying character. I hope he’s next to die.

00:22:17 – This Wynona Ryder looking teen seems very distraught that Laura is dead. There’s definitely some secret knowledge between her and the cube-headed teen with the silly haircut.

00:24:08 – This Bobby has obnoxious mannerisms. I hate when people lick their lips all exaggerated.

00:31:00 – This sawmill is clearly very important in the way that the Blossom syrup company is important in Riverdale.

00:32:15 – The owner of the mill wants to shut down the mill for a day because someone died and this other woman seems to think she’s being very unreasonable.

00:34:00 – There are too many characters to keep track of. Who is this lady with the eye patch?

00:38:10 – “I’d like to question her.” Well she’s unconscious, Mr. FBI man. So good luck with that.

00:40:11 – This giggly doctor character is also very suspicious. They literally all are! It’s like Broadchurch, aka the best show.

00:42:14 – FBI man found a letter R under her fingernail? Also, he talks to the recording device like it’s a person – is he going to show it to someone named Diane later or is he just crazy!

00:46:15 – FBI man is obnoxious. Where is he getting all these specific hunches from? And didn’t he play a crazy murderer on Desperate Housewives?

00:47:35 – Lucy the receptionist is my least favourite character solely because of her voice. Maybe she did the murder.

00:49:37 – Obviously it’s not Bobby, it’s never the first character they suspect (except in that one Agatha Christie book).

00:51:23 – This character Audrey seems like a real pest. Also, she was Luke’s ex-girlfriend on Gilmore Girls. I’m recognizing so many people as secondary characters from other things.

00:52:32 – What is she doing? Why is she so weird? I feel like I don’t get David Lynch.

01:02:42 – The waitress’ terrible boyfriend is very angry at her for having a different kind of cigarettes in the house.

01:04:31 – “Who’s the lady with the log?” “We call her the log lady.” Hahaha.

01:05:48 – The murderer might be in town he said! Just like in Broadchurch! The best show.

01:09:50 – Bobby is behaving like such a doofus. Get a haircut, punk.

01:10:49 – Donna’s sister did a terrible job covering for her, she told her Dad what happened instantly.

01:15:14 – This bar has the literal most depressing live music I’ve ever heard in my life.

01:16:21 – Why does FBI man always know such specific things? Is he a psychic? Does the mysterious Diane give him future information?

01:18:19 – Wait, so is this mysterious James biker dating both Laura and Donna?

01:20:40 – “I’m sorry. I changed my mind. I’m not sorry.” James’ haircut makes his head look like such a cube.

01:24:32 – Bobby is such a schmuck.

01:25:40 – Donna’s Dad is really chill and very nice. Maybe he’s the murderer.

01:27:40 – Why her mom screamin?

Final thoughts:

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At this point my suspicion is Laura’s dad, literally just because Jason’s dad was the killer in Riverdale and I’m looking for parallels. Her dad seemed pretty sad when he found out she was dead, but it was always in the presence of other people so maybe he’s just a good actor. I’m disappointed that there are no Sawyer types, aka no good looking male characters at all, but you can’t have it all and I suppose there’s more to TV shows than that. Also, is every episode as long as this one? It was like watching a full movie. I won’t give Twin Peaks a grade until I finish the season.

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